I'll be the first to admit that comittment is not my strong suit. Whether it be committing to a gym, a blog, or even a partner, all are commitments in which I self sabotage due to anxiety.
I recently returned to my small, rural home town with the hope that I would be leaving it to return to the city, just as quickly as it took me to pack my stuff. Unfortunately, and fortunately, I was offered an icredible digital marketing position within a tourism and events organisation in my home town. It's such an amazing first job for my career and I felt an amazing weight being lifted from me from all the pressure and anxiety the job hunt took. Unfortunately this anxiety has shifted to another comittment, my relationship.
My boyfriend of almost two years lives five hours away from me and, after spending almost every day together for the last two years, my relationship anxiety is running high. I have always had relationship anxiety, just a pit in my stomach that made me feel ill and a clenching sensation in my heart that made me question my relationship. This normally happens for a day, the week before my monthlies, and is normally gone the next day.
My boyfriend came to surprised me in my home town a few weeks ago and I just had a disapointed feeling when I saw him and, because of the guilt, I told him. (I partly think it's because he said he had a surprise for me in a parcel he was meant to send me and I was hoping for a present and I'm selfish and scared I might be more dependent on him than inlove with him).
Understandably he was so upset and started crying, but even when I was trying to comfort him and telling him I love him I just had that pit in my stomach telling me to end it, like right on the tip of my tongue. I worry that because of this anxiety I will one day make the wrong decision and leave him, but at the same time what if I make the decision to stay and it's the wrong one?
I have been staying at my aunts for the last few days, and for Lunar New Year celebrations last night, and this morning I ventured to Block House Coffee, which I have been eyeing off for a while now. BHC is only a few minutes drive from my aunts so I am kicking myself I haven’t been before. The area itself is really modern and fresh and there are beauticians, hairdressers, and retail shops in the same ‘complex’.
I got a cold-drip coffee and if you are looking for a coffee different to your traditional Colombian robust Merlot flavours than this is the place to go. I had the Ethiopia blend that has notes of chocolate and fruit and oh my god can you taste it. This coffee reminds me of the mixed packet dried fruit you put in fruitcake at Christmas time.
I woke up early to get a iced latte from Dudley Street Espresso, a few stores down from Annerley Woolworths, and a lackluster almond croissant. Dudley’s is a local hot spot with ample nearby parking and bus stops this is a prime drop-in drop-out coffee goers destination. It’s location does not make it ideal to sit and eat as it is small and on a busy main road, but the service is friendly and fast.
I often hum-and-ha about where I want to go for my coffee in the morning and it normally gets narrowed down by; ‘could I be bothered walking that far?’ and ‘do I want iced or hot?’ Because it’s summer in Australia and hotter than the inside of a car parked in the sun all day, I have been opting for iced coffees and Dudley offers the best within walking distance to me.
My go-to choice here is just a vanilla iced latte for $4.50 after I have done my groceries at Woolworths.
I had a pelvic ultrasound this morning, because I am getting an IUD put in on Wednesday but I couldn’t find a car park and was in so much pain from holding my bladder that I had a panic attack, started crying and had to cancel. So, to calm me down I am currently working on a knit throw for my boyfriend’s apartment couch as it is in need of some white to brighten it up. I went to Spotlight the other day and unsurprisingly for me bought the wrong coloured yarn, so today I am going to go return it for the correct colour, hopefully! This project is keeping me pre-occupied while I wait to hear back from jobs. Knitting is super easy to learn and do, my mum taught me when I was younger, she claims she doesn’t know how to knit so she couldn’t have, but I refreshed my memory using this YouTube video here.
One of my favourite cafes to take my friends and family is Billykart Annerley, and not just because it’s a five minute drive from me. Billykart boasts three cafes; Billkart West End, Billykart Provisions and, my favourite, Billykart Annerley. Billykart is the baby of celebrity chef Ben O’Donoghue and is always bustling with life. Being a lover of breakfast, and this being a breakfast lover’s menu, I often find myself sipping one of their amazing cappuccinos and eagerly waiting for my french toast on a Saturday morning.
Billykart’s breakfasts are second to none with their crispy corn fritters and fluffy ricotta buttermilk pancakes always a crowd pleaser. They always have fresh muffins and pastries on the counter and an assortment of baked goods in the cabinet. This breakfast favourite is very popular among locals, and groups of four or more may require a booking on the weekends. Billykart is local, delicious and a must-go breakfast destination. I would 10/10 recommend a trip there for coffee with friends, or just to treat yourself with some self-care.
My go-to menu choice is their brioche french toast, fresh strawberries, new season peach puree, strawberry and lavender syrup, and a cappuccino, which sets me back $22.50 and is worth every penny.